The other day when we got a few minutes to talk without the kids overhearing me, my sweetheart asked me a question that has apparently been bothering her:
"Why hasn't anyone commented on the second part of your post about me?"
I didn't have a very good answer.
I get the sense from the overall slowdown in my feed reader queue that at least some of you, my dear readers and friends, are largely preoccupied with your own lives right now. I certainly understand that (and have a whole post coming up on the subject).
I think maybe some people might be afraid to comment because they know D.W.'s now reading my blog, and they might not want to say something to offend her...? Maybe...? (At least I can imagine feeling that way about one of y'all if the situation was reversed!)
Anyway, this isn't a plea to go and comment over there, really it's not, because that would be kind of pathetic. But I have to admit I'm surprised.
I guess the takeaway I want to leave with anyone reading my blog is that they should feel free to express their opinions in comments here, and not hold back for fear of hurting our feelings or anything (but note that doesn't mean I'm giving you license to be trollish). I'd really like my blog to be a place where people can feel free and welcome to express themselves truly, and I will try to be a gracious host.
Arcee, fear not! Please tell DW that I really appreciated part 2. It so very parralelled our own experience it seemed spooky.
ReplyDeleteAs you suspect though, we have been going through several highs and lows of late, what I've referred to as the BiPolar Express. We have been working hard together on figuring out how to communicate on trans issues without going to opposite extremes, rather learning to find some understanding in the middle. Also to make sure we stay in the present in our conversations not imagining an extreme future condition we cannot control and which probably is not nearly as bad as we imagine. We are also finding acceptable ways for me to express my gender without hurting her or others. We've also been fortunate to meet several LDS trans folks and their families socially which has been fun and therapeutic for us both.
We wish you the very best too as you continue forward on your journey together as a wonderful partnership.
Love and hugs, Laurie.
Thanks for confirming my suspicions, Laurie! I hope you're able to work through your own challenges and come through stronger for it. I admit I'm a little jealous of you folks in the Wasatch being able to get together; LDS trans folks are a little thinner on the ground out here.
ReplyDeleteHey Arcee, I loved reading part 2 as well! My husband and I did a little happy dance for you two that things went so well. Sounds like your wife is a gem and you two have an awesome relationship with each other. Keep us posted! -E.
ReplyDeleteYep, I've been pretty busy. I read the post, but you know sometimes I just don't have anything to say : )
ReplyDeleteThanks, you two! Elizabeth: I'm just now getting caught up on your recent posts, so expect a small flood of comments from me! ;)
ReplyDeleteChristi: I certainly don't expect you (or anyone!) to comment on everything I write, and I can only imagine how busy things are for you and Brynn right now, but I *would* like to have a longer conversation with you at some point...
Hi, you don't know me but I recently posted a few things on the other blog...then i noticed yours...
ReplyDeleteWhat's really amazing to me is how similar everyone is :O Actually its quite shocking. I'm not sure what to make of it but its interesting in reading other people's posts...particular the parts about how they began noticing they were different seems very common in many of you. In some places I was thinking...wow this person could be just like me?! It was like I was seeing pieces of myself, and that doesn't typically happen when I'm around other people...definitely not something I've had typically had happen.
There is just one thing that I haven't been able to either observe or see if its similar or not and that is dreams and nightmares??
Do people with our challenges typically have dream interaction signalling or influencing somehow this problem or not? This could be related to spiritual gifts outlined in the doctrine and covenants and might not be common to everyone with this challenge or not but I wanted to ask about that and see what the rest of you had thought? It could also be in the case of many of you a different spiritual gift that maybe sometimes interacts with that? I'm not sure how but I thought asking about it would help somehow.
For me at least part of (not the majority) noticing and figuring this out has come through interactions with dreams I had that wouldn't go away and kept coming back.
Are other people having those kinds of experiences or not?
For me at least in my life I had a few times when I think God was trying to warn me or help me figure out stuff in dreams.
I'm grateful that many of you are pioneers and put down your experiences and thoughts. I don't think how much you realize you've helped me and how awful and how much worse this would've been to go through if I hadn't been able to find a few answers through some of your comments which were linked to spiritual thoughts and hopes. There are too many people to name but this blog and the other one...felt safe because the voice in your writing didn't feel like you were fighting against God like some of the other forums I'd looked at...which is not something I wanted to associate with.
Cool isn't it how our stories feel so familiar!
DeleteOn the topic of dreams, I have had a few things come to mind. I had my first recognition of my gender incongruity at age five. Recently I was with another blogger and our spouses talking about experiences and the topic of trans-dreams came up and I had a sudden flashback of a long suppressed memory of frequently dreaming I was Laurie as a little girl. Knowing what bedroom I occupied at the time from the flashback, these dreams frequented me between ages 8 and 11.
Occasionally my dreams over the past several years have been of me in a female role / dress, etc., but the most instructive dream was the one I described from last November on my July 10, 2012 post entitled "How Do I Know What I Know?"
Sorry Arcee for promoting my blog on yours!
So CP, maybe that helps know what someone else's dreams are like. Best of blessings in your travels.
Love, Laurie.
Oh Laurie, it's not promotion if it's related to the topic at hand! You're just fine. :)
DeleteAlso, I'd forgotten you'd had dream experiences as well, or I would have mentioned them too! Sorry!
Hi CP! I noticed your post in TGIMormons this morning; glad you found us over there. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for dreams -- I know Christi Taylor has some experience in that regard, so maybe she can give you a better opinion. See this post: http://transchristian.blogspot.com/2012/03/trans-people-arent-of-devil-but-they.html -- I'm afraid my dreams tend to either not be gender-related at all, or are way too random and weird to be anything meaningful.
Wow that was very inspired for you to do Arcee. that link really hit me with some things to think about.
ReplyDeleteThank you
So Laurie,...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you had a blog too. Maybe you can link me that and for that post you were mentioning so I can check it out.
Thanks
Then I can comment on it... :P
Hey CP, you were on it the other day and posted a comment, laurienmyhead.blogspot.com,
DeleteSmile, Laurie.