Gendered cultural items are so weird!
Recently, I read a post over at Feminist Mormon Housewives that reflected something I'd recently experienced too: in Western culture (at least here in the U.S.), a lot of people seem to be very uncomfortable with the idea of men needing a bag that serves the same purpose as a woman's purse.
As part of my ongoing chiropractic adventure to fix what my summer bike crash messed up, my doctor suggested that I would have better posture if I stopped sitting with a wallet in my back pocket. So that had to go somewhere, and my front pockets are mostly too small for that. Add in my phone, car keys, glasses/contact lens cases, chapstick, work ID badge, and so on, and the need for a bag to carry all of this stuff should become clear. Plus, I've taken to carrying a knockoff Moleskin notebook and pen & pencil should inspiration ever strike while I'm out and about (which it often does, actually). So for a while, I've been carrying a fanny pack (or "bum bag" for those of you that come from somewhere that speaks Queen's English) with all of that stuff in it, slung over my shoulder. That works out okay most of the time, but sometimes it's too big to carry around, and other times it's too full of other stuff (I use it as my lunch bag for work).
Then a while back, when I was perusing the purses at the store to find something suitable for my teenage daughter's birthday, I saw one that fit my needs perfectly:
(It's not exactly like this one, and it's certainly not Prada, but it's nice)
It's black nylon, lightweight and strong, and has a bunch of separate sections for my various stuff, and a great shoulder strap!
Best of all? It's completely stealth — people see it and just think it's a small messenger bag, so it doesn't set off anyone's T-dar, but I know, and it's just one more little affirmation of my femme side.
Silly? Trivial? Yeah, probably. But it means something to me, and I don't have to stuff my pockets to bursting anymore. :)
That's awesome, Arcee. Choosing a purse sounds simple enough, but I've found it's one of the most complicated pieces of shopping I ever have to do. My husband helps me when I need a new one though, and he ALWAYS loves to carry my purse for me--it makes him FEEL feminine and LOOK like a super-sweet husband to anyone who notices it, and hey, I don't have to carry my purse. ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I agree, picking something that fit me and was right for my situation was HARD.
ReplyDeleteSo the other night we were enjoying a Cafe Rio date night, and just as we were finishing a large family came over with their meals and started to try to assemble enough tables for their brood.
ReplyDeleteMy sweetheart headed off to use the restroom leaving me with her purse and two half full drink cups for the ride home.
It soon became clear to me that if I vacated our table this families' problem would be solved. So I got up and picked up the purse and drinks and turned to face the Matriarch of the family who had just arrived on the scene in time to smile broadly and compliment me on MY purse. I of course smiled sweetly and thanked her graciously and moved to the next table.
Actually I don't care for that purse much. I like her last one, a big yellow flowered summer bag that hangs on my shoulder perfectly. She kindly gave it to me when I bought her the new one!
Hugs, Laurie.
I love me some Cafe Rio! Nice date, and I'm sure the compliment didn't hurt! :)
ReplyDeleteso does trying to gender nuetral things still nullify the inner me's ferocity at trying to manifest itself?
ReplyDeleteI'm curious if that is working for others or not?
It can also be confusing wanting this thing contained and also I don't want to feel like I'm going through this for a reason? Yeah I know we're going to suffer in mortality but this one is pretty beastly. I mean if people know about this kind of problem they are sure to sign up on our best friend's list (sarcasm)>
Some days this approach works better for me than others, and Christi has said before that gender-neutral isn't a comfortable place for her to be, so as with so many trans issues, it depends.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, whether it's helping or not, note that I'm still looking for a good endocrinologist to get professional care for what I'm pretty sure is a hormonal imbalance (which more than likely isn't the source of the dysphoria, but can certainly make it worse)
I don't know about that since I'm not there yet...but I would think getting that balanced would improve a lot of things, not just mentality but maybe improve hair and skin too.
ReplyDeleteActually I'm really into diet and nutrition and it is shown that hair loss is linked to too much testosterone. Family that eat a lot of stuff like red meat and things like that do have higher increase of baldness, while people that have more fruits and vegetables and foods with phytoestrogens are less likely to go that direction. Plus higher vegetable intake with less garbage food (high sugar and meat) will improve lots of areas....but I suspect you probably already know all that, but I don't see many people in our group posting as being vegetarian or semivegetarian.
At the same time I wouldn't want everyone out there to think everyone that is vegetarian has GID since many people know I'm vegetarian but not many know about certain other issues...
I'm not personally vegetarian or vegan, but this year I've made an attempt to eat a lot less processed sugar and a lot more fruits & veggies (carrot sticks, oranges, and apples for between-meal snacks, for example), and to generally have smaller portions overall. The results, I think, speak for themselves: I'm down almost 30 pounds and 2 full pant sizes since January! Whether it's helped my hair or not is hard to say, because during this same period of time I went from shaving my head to growing out my hair, plus changed to a different medicated shampoo (Nizoral, which is a mild testosterone blocker), so it's hard to say what effect the diet had overall on my hairline.
ReplyDeleteBut that's a subject that deserves its own post.
Apples are amazing! If you eat a few a day you feel really good. Plus carrots have anti aging properties at least thats what some research I'd read said; that and tomatoes... Oranges and grapefruit are good for cleaning out your blood and body.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started vegetarian...it was a bit hard the first few months partly because I felt hungry a lot. Oh the other thing about it is you have to manage protein more on vegan diet. You have to eat lots of nuts, and stuff like soy but some people feel like soy isn't good for them...they claim they didn't feel good on it. But nuts are great, especially peanuts and sunflower seeds have lots of protein...people will say beans too but beans are hard for people working on the go, because now you have to stop and cook them etc....
After being vegetarian my hair felt a lot different. It was a positive change I think. Not a miracle or anything. I do think vegetarian diet helps a lot with hair quality and over time I think you lose less hair with this diet as long as you get enough protein...that's why you'll hear people say they are still doing vegetarian but have exceptions for like eggs or fish. If you don't get enough protein you won't feel good.
The other thing about it is psychologically its different. Normal people eat when they are hungry but vegan diet you have to eat before you get hungry or planned or else the discipline is too hard. I think overall I like this diet a lot. I'm smaller and thinner than I was in high school, and it does feel good.
I like the small gala apples most because they have good taste but are the cheapest in the grocery store too. Most the others you can see some crazy pricing. (Also like great value brand for a lot of stuff and anything thats cheap).
You don't have to go vegan but you would see improvement...you know one of the things they put in our food for preservative is a rat poison??
DW and I are both hugely in favor of organic, non-processed foods, at least as much as possible without getting crazy expensive. For years we've avoided a lot of the overly-processed stuff, and sometimes it's a bit of a pain to find good food without the crap, but we can totally tell the difference when we eat well and when we just eat cheap (road trips are the hardest, because just grabbing fast food is soooo much easier than shlepping all the good stuff around with you!)
ReplyDeleteAs for protein - I tend to follow the word of wisdom and eat meat "sparingly", but I eat eggs almost every morning for breakfast, often with a soy sausage and maybe half an avocado (they're loaded with the good kinds of fat!). I think the key to eating healthy is not to be dogmatic about it, because if your rules are too strict and you feel too much like you're missing out on something, then eventually you'll slip.
organic is kinda expensive for me but yeah it's fun to eat healthy and stuff. Whenever I get tempted to cheat on my vegan diet then I just go look at the feature creature and other pics on the peopleofwalmart.com website...temptation erased :p I hope I don't get in trouble for sharing that site...it's soo funny seeing some of the pics on there...
ReplyDeleteA lot of the soy products available lately are getting better quality and better taste so there's hope for things yet. Avocados on rice is sooo good. Before I went vegan I'd do like slightly runny scrambled egg ommelette with this too.
Hope things are going well with you and DW. Hope she will try to see that it's something we're trying to work out and that it's a work in progress, not a easy fix or something we want.
I'm not a huge fan of that site, but I can see why it would be a good incentive for you to take care of yourself.
ReplyDelete