Perspective from a Spouse

So while I was slaving away at how to write my "coming out to D.W." posts, a new voice appeared on the blogging scene, one who I'm really excited to share with you, my dear readers. Her name is Elizabeth, she blogs at A Purple Picket Fence (love the name), and she's the young LDS wife of a transgendered spouse!

Unlike the occasional post by a loving, supportive spouse on a t-person's blog (which I appreciate too, don't get me wrong!), this is the reverse: it's HER blog, and she's telling things from HER perspective. So far I'm really enjoying it. Go. Read.

Giving directions

So the other day I was out on my usual lunchtime jog, when an older couple in a minivan pulled up next to me and asked how to get to (a nearby hotel that shall remain nameless). The road they were on, a small, residential dead-end, just happened to share a name with the larger, commercial road where the area's high end hotels are all situated, so I knew right away what had happened (darn GPSes! They're always getting people into trouble around here!). I gave them directions as best as I could, bid them good luck, and continued on my way.

About 5 minutes later, it occurred to me that I give directions differently than most guys I know, and I started to wonder if this was another "gender thing." That day I focused mainly on landmarks (e.g. "you'll pass a park on your left"), rather than on concrete map directions ("go north on Poplar about 2 miles until you get to Hollyhock"), which made me think of something I'd read a while back on the subject:

Studies over the past decade have shown that women are likelier to rely on landmarks and visual cues, and men on maps, cardinal directions (such as north and south) and gauges of distance.

There's a Men's Route And a Women's Route, washingtonpost.com

Sounds like what I experienced! But in Googling the subject tonight, I found a least one scientific study which seems to indicate that these differences are probably anecdotal at best:

[the researcher] gathered data from a more natural context, by driving alongside a customer in a petrol station, winding down her window and asking the person for directions. She did this 60 times, asking 30 men and 30 women. Ewald found no differences in the directions that she received, with the single exception that men tended to estimate how far away the destination was more often than women did. However the men’s estimates were more likely to be wrong than the women’s!

Linguistics Research Digest

Still, there may be some truth to this. Not that it makes any difference, any more than if my ring fingers are the same length as my index fingers, or if my arms turn outward when I face my palms forward. But still, it made me chuckle.

Yes, I'm a Transgirl Geek

So, I have a bit of a confession to make.

Yes, I have transgender feelings and tendencies. Yes, a lot of the things our culture tells us are "guy" traits don't fit me at all, and I score 55/86/70 (masculine/feminine/andro) on the BEM sex role inventory. But like I said when I started this blog, I do like some stuff that's often considered stereotypically male: video games (though not the ultra-violent stuff like Call of Duty), and superhero comic books.

Of course, these things aren't really limited to the male gender, but you maybe don't see them as often with transwomen. Which was why I was so happy to discover Morgan McCormick! Morgan started a blog and YouTube channel a couple of years ago, and while she's not the most prolific of bloggers/vloggers, I love her, if for no other reason than that she's a devoted gamer and unapologetic geek! She's also much less preoccupied with sex than many (most) of the transpeople on YouTube, so I appreciate that about her too.

Anyway, this blog isn't about her, specifically. It's more about the fact that she and others like her exist, making me feel more like my passion for geeky stuff doesn't make me any less authentic in my trans-ness. So, if you see some of that sort of stuff pop up here on the blog (or over on my Google Plus) from time to time, now you know why. :)

It Gets Better at BYU

If only this had existed when I was there... I might have learned to embrace who I am sooner than my late 30s.