Rebirthday: Hair, Skin, & Nails

Well, so much for restarting my blogging habit here. It's been a month since my last post, but here's the next, much-belated entry in my series marking my first year on hormone replacement therapy. Let’s talk about three things that usually get mentioned in the same breath, for some reason: hair, skin & nails.

Skin

I’m going to save hair for last, because I have the most to say on that subject. Skin is much more straightforward: it’s getting softer. Smoother. I bruise more easily than I used to, and get nicks & scratches a little easier, too. It’s also a lot drier than it used to be, so I find that my lotion budget has gone up quite a bit. But I do like the way it feels (and smells), so I don’t mind that at all.

Nails

Like my skin, my fingernails also seem a little thinner, and tear more easily. I’m keeping them a little longer than I used to, and keep a shiny clearcoat on them most of the time, which does help strengthen them a bit more. A few times I’ve also ventured to be a little more daring, and have worn them painted to work, to my therapist’s, etc, mostly on significant days (like trans day of remembrance). To my co-workers’ credit, nobody’s batted an eye or said a thing. (bless you, San Francisco!). I like them painted; it’s a little cue to others and a quiet reassurance to my sense of self. But until I’m ready to be more visible in all aspects of my life (including my kids’ church, which is notoriously queerphobic), I’ll probably stick to special days (Next on the calendar: March 31st, Trans Day of Visibility).

Hair

I’d started growing my hair out some time before starting hormones, but it was kind of… well, my daughter said it was mullet-y. Since then I’ve started working with a stylist that’s helping me to take care of it while I grow it out. I know there are plenty of girls, cis and trans alike, who can rock short hair, but right now, honestly, I need it long. I’ve lived my whole life without being able to wear it long, so I need this, emotionally. (plus, anything to help me pass is a plus).

One of my major dysphoria triggers has always been my receding hairline. Hormones have helped a bit, halting its progression, but they haven’t done much to promote regrowth (a few stray hairs here and there, but that’s it). A few months ago, a trans friend recommended rogaine, which had done wonders for her, so a little over a month ago, I started trying it. Sure enough, after a few weeks, the receded areas started to show signs of life again… it’s been agonizingly slow, but there’s just the faintest patch of peach fuzz there now, which is encouraging.

Body hair has seen slower changes on HRT than I had hoped. I’m genetically predisposed to “sasquatch” levels of body hair, which has been another major trigger for a long time, and it’s incredibly time-consuming (and very visible to others) if I shave, say, my arms, legs, and chest. But things are sloooowly getting better. A few months ago, I used a few Amazon gift cards to invest in a starter epilator, and have used it a couple of times on my legs, and this week, on my arms. The hair that’s growing back in both areas is finer, thinner, and slower to regrow, so it seems that my body may finally be taking the hint. Huzzah.

That leaves my facial hair, which I “affectionately” refer to as my chin moss (not my term: I heard another trans girl on Tumblr use it, and it fit well enough that I adopted it). My #1 dysphoria trigger, and most likely the main thing keeping me from being correctly gendered more often. But dealing with this one is stressful and expensive. I have to shave every single day, and even then, I have a very visible beard shadow, and would prefer not to have to hide it using a lot of makeup (it would make me feel deceptive, tbh, but I know that’s just me). Anyway, I’ve started a separate savings account with my bank specifically to set aside money so that I can invest in laser hair removal for my face & neck, hopefully later this year. More on that, hopefully soon.